Monday, January 30, 2012

Justin Bieber’s Grandparents Nearly Dead


If there’s one thing worse than a bad thing happening to a celebrity, it’s a bad thing happening to a non-celebrity that is in some way related to a celebrity. Take for example, the dreadful news that Justin Bieber’s grandparents are nearly dead.


You’ll be forgiven for thinking ‘all grandparents are nearly dead’, but you must remember that Bieber is a matter of hours old. So young is JB that his grandparents could justifiably be 23 years old or something.


No. They’re nearly dead because they’ve been in a car crash. This can only mean one thing…



Justin Bieber’s grandfather has been discharged from hospital following a rather serious (but presumably hilarious, judging by the laughs car-crashes get on clip shows) accident in Canada.


Bieber’s mom, Pattie Mallette, took to Twitter to ask for prayers (which will do absolutely nothing, but hey ho! You should really ask for everyone to think about how great doctors and nurses are, eh?) after the vehicle her parents – Bruce and Diane Dale – were driving careered out of control and flipped splendidly into a ditch.


In a post, she wrote:



“My dad has broken ribs. Plz pray 4 him 4 quick healing! Count your blessings and forgive ur parents always. U never know what tomorrow holds!!!”


Forgive your parents? Why? What have these people done to you? Are they monstrous pinheads or something?


Either way, all this means is that Bieber is quite obviously going to make some kind of soul-searching tune about all this because, if we’ve learned anything about this odious little berk, it is that he’s excellent at turning connected events into bubblegum money for himself.


Hope for a concept album called ‘Grandpa At The Wheel With The Reaper’.












Source: Hecklerspray Justin Bieber

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