It’s awful being a teenager. Your skin starts bubbling like some terrible sauce, your face becomes covered in some kind of feathery down leaving you looking like a weeping willow and, most crucially, your voice starts acting like a jerk.
If being a teen wasn’t embarrassing enough (and of course NO-ONE UNDERSTANDS YOU), people say a buncha personal stuff about you to redden your cheeks further.
We’re talking about Justin Bieber and the small matter that his manager has just informed the world that his prancing cash-piglet’s ‘balls have dropped’.
Scooter Braunt, who looks after the infant singer (and sounds like some stupid household gadget) says that Biebles isn’t hitting the high notes like he used to.
The record company will probably beat him with a shovel handle and cut his balls right off, won’t they?
Anyway, Bieber had found recording a duet of ‘All I Want For Christmas’ with Mariah Carey difficult as his voice had broken and was not as high as it used to be.
Braunt told Billboard.com:
“Vocally, his balls have dropped.”
Regarding the high notes:
“That was the hardest song to do. A year ago that would have been no problem.”
Sadly, Scooter showed no sign of remorse for making everyone think of Justin’s testicles for which right-minded people will be scrubbing their brains with Domestos. FOREVER.
Island Def Jam president Steve Bartels also spoke of the change in Bieber’s vocals, adding:
“The album really shows his growth as a young man, and his voice has just blossomed. It will pleasantly surprise many people. It’s not your typical holiday album.”
It’s worse.
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Source: Hecklerspray Justin Bieber
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