Justin Bieber has released a new song called ‘Boyfriend’ and absolutely no-one over the age of 10 who isn’t an outrageous pederast gives two hoots. However, it does give him the chance to talk about things he has little-to-no clue about.
See, some idiot decided to talk to him like he was a fully formed human, despite the fact the top of his head is still soft and he’s got no noticeable fingerprints.
Basically, Justin ‘not a hair on his balls’ Bieber is going to tell you, world weary and experienced, how to be a good boyfriend.
Biebles sat down on E! News’ knee and talked about the qualities he thinks men should have, in order to be good partners.
“To be a great boyfriend you just have to have patience. You’re always wrong when it comes to girls, you’re always wrong, so just say sorry when things are rough.”
Get that? Just say ‘sorry’ even if you’ve done absolutely nothing wrong.
However, you mustn’t ever apologise for your decidedly dodgy views on abortion, where you’ve basically said that women who have been raped should carry the child. Never apologise for your faith, eh Justin?
Everything happens for a reason, afterall.
Of course, this all points to the fact wickle JB has a girlfwiend called Selena Gomez. She’s obviously a spoiled harridan who demands apologies for absolutely everything from Bieber, who is now on record as being disingenuous with his platitudes.
So what could she possibly see in him?
Is it because he’s the kind of eye-wateringly wealthy boyfriend who can rent the whole of the Staples Center just to show you Titanic on the big screen? Is it because he’s a pushover and will sell his beloved pet snake because it makes you feel icky?
It’s because he’s gigantically wealthy isn’t it?
Source: Hecklerspray Justin Bieber
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