Thursday, October 20, 2011

Sean Kingston Wants Jet Ski Death


Sean Kingston and concrete bridges don’t mix. If you haven’t bothered to remember, Kingston crashed his skull into the side of a Miami bridge while on a jet ski. The bridge won. And how. It left Kingston on a life glug in hospital and everyone started praying for him to some false god.


However, Seany is keen to get back onto one of these water-based motorbike things, presumably in an attempt to completely crack his skull intwo this time.


What a cad.



As if beautiful girls didn’t make him suicidal enough, it appears that our man wants to get on the water as soon as he can, thrashing ’round the tides or whatever it is you do on a jet ski.


See, he’s now pretty much recovered from it all, save for a dead stare and harrowing nightmares which plague him, leaving him screaming in a sodden bed.


But he won’t be giving up on his love for jet-skiing. Nosireebob.


Talking to Ryan Seacrest (the secret ruler of America) he says:



“I’m gonna go on another jet-ski… I was new to the area; I had just moved to the island and I didn’t know about the tides, I didn’t know about anything like that. It happened to me because I chose to ride around in that area, but there’s so much water that I could have chosen to ride around on.”


That’s right Sean. It is much better to stick to water, as opposed to ‘water with great lumps of concrete sticking out of it which you may crash into and die’.


He’s insisting that he’s going to get back on one of these things soon, and thanks to his lack of judgement and his willingness to speak about it, he’s given writers the world over the heads-up to write his obituary article in advance to save them from doing any work at some point in the future.


Whaddaguy.


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