Like Chris Brown in a boxing gym, we’re not surprised to see that you’ve come back for more.
Of course, the outraged backlash against our good pal Breezy has seen #TeamBreezy go into remission, hiding around the corner, waiting to spread into our lymph nodes as soon as we let our guard down. That’s not to say that Chris Brown and his sycophantic legion of slack-jawed domestic abuse apologists are a cancer of the world of entertainment. That would be potentially libellous.
They are though.
However, #TeamBreezy’s hiatus- designed to see them stock up on bruises and excuses- has left us with a bit of problem. The usually overflowing hecklerspray post bag is l0oking a little empty and we’re left scraping around in the bottom trying to reconstitute mushy comments so that we have something to write about.
Fear not though, intrepid explorer. We’ve found some right gits for you to laugh at.
Let’s start off with something light, shall we? An aperitif before your main meal of Bile & New Potatoes. Remember when we said that Justin Bieber had been killed by the Illuminati and replaced by a lookalike? Well, we did and he was. Not everyone agrees with this perfectly logical line of reasoning. People can’t handle the truth. Like Norma Nieto:
I agree with you on that note, there all gunna have to face god on judgment day!!!!!
Of course, we can imagine how that might go.
God: WHY HAS THOU FORSAKEN ME IN THE EYES OF OTHERS?! WHY DO YOU MOCK THE GIFTED AND THE RICH?!
Hecklerspray (for we are one): Uhh… yeah. Sorry about that but those Beliebers over there worship a false idol which is most definitely worse. Why don’t you go and have a chat with them?
Oh-ho-ho! Sorry about that Beliebers but you can’t crack out the judgement day line on us. We’ve got a dossier on your Bieber-worship and you’re coming to hell with us! That’s if god exists which, as the first line of our little imagined play suggests, “he” doesn’t.
There are other people who don’t exist though. Like the the people who respond to comments. Very often, they’re just figments of a dark and dangerous imagination. Don’t believe us? Well, how about this prime example from the ongoing and tedious debate over which version of The Office is better (it’s the Italian one, obviously). This comment from UK Office Blows was full of ire and hatred:
the uk office sucks. plan and simple. its awkward in the most un-funny way imaginable. not to mention its so drab and dull it looks like it was shot in the ’90s. a horrible bland and uninteresting cast as well. truly awful. basically, its ALMOST as bad as this article, and website.
Uh-oh! UK Office Blows doesn’t like hecklerspray! Let’s face it, he’s right not to. This is a terrible website and these articles are terrible. They’re probably up there with the person who still feels the need to debate the finer points of two disappointing situation comedies. Or perhaps hecklerspray comes closer to the person who doesn’t understand the internet. Like Up Yours:
yea Rob i bet the author is such a badass! lol
Yeah, Rob! You sure showed u- wait a minute. Who the hell is Rob? A quick scan of the first comment will show you that there was no mention of the name Rob in the first comment. Did someone just trip himself up? Uh-oh! Spaghetti-os! We asked a Cambridge Professor in IT… or something for her verdict.
Nothing displays one’s ineptitude on the internet than replying to one’s own comment before one’s comment has even been approved from the moderation queue.
There you have it folks. Our pal Rob is an inept idiot. It doesn’t stop there though, ohhhhh no. Rob’s back for another bite at the cretinous cherry:
awww haha why erase my post, pussy? cuz im rite, thats why. learn to write an interesting article for this crap website and grow a pair, you bitch.
All three comments are from the same IP Address. The IP Address of a person who couldn’t win a debate with a glass of fizzy water. Sorry, Rob. Your comment is still there and will stand forever as a testament to your stupidity.
Speaking of stupidity, here’s Allure Searles with her opinion of our ol’ pal Breezy and his overwhelming love of domestic abuse:
Yes I so agree with the editor who wrote this article I read parts of the police report on here just now and I’m appalled by what Chris brown did to Rihanna he needs to go to therapy and get some help with his anger problems what I still do not get is why is he getting away with a crime that he commited three years ago and get’s off easy I think that he should be honest and truthful and become open about being a batterer a domestic violence abuser have needs to use that to become a spokes person young women and men and talk to them about his experience of what he endured as a child growing up in a abusive home and why he beat up his ex Rihanna and come out and be open about what he did this situation is not going to go away until he speaks up so until than he has slot more growing to do.
Yeah! Idi- oh. Hang on. Yes. That’s actually perfectly reasonable. Well done. A few full stops next time but other than that. Spot on. Of course, we didn’t put this comment up to patronise someone for their grammar. We put it here to show you that this is what people think of Chris Brown. #TeamBreezy could take a lesson from this person. Not a grammar lesson but an important life lesson.
Chris Brown is a dick.
Still, let’s not end on us calling a Grammy-winning MMA-enthusiast a dick. Let’s end with someone taking the piss out of us!
Blog named after Pavement track criticises band for being too white, universe implodes.
That’s better.
Until next week, goofballs.
Source: Hecklerspray Justin Bieber
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