Mariah Yeater Wants Justin Bieber To Take Another DNA Test Just To See If He Has Any

You know the woman who said Justin Bieber rode her for 30 seconds backstage at one of his gigs, and as a result, popped out a small baby? Well, Mariah Yeater is at it again, asking for more of Justin’s DNA.

Presumably, the first DNA test came back with a report noting that Bieber was too young to have even developed any.

However, now he’s grown some finger nails and the fontanelle has started to harden on his famous head, she’s asking for another test. Maybe she’s going to swipe it and clone him because she’s mental or something? You’d have to be to willingly tell the world you’d had sex with a superstar infant with a face like a boiled kneecap.

Bieber has, of course, already taken one test, but Yeater,wants one that he hasn’t initiated. Perhaps she doesn’t trust the hippocratic oath?

Some bloke called Jeffery Leving said that, even though he has yet to provide evidence of the two’s alleged sexual encounter, Yeater deserved the right to meet Bieber with her baby and lawyers present so they can watch him actually take the test.

That’ll be a nice awkward meeting won’t it? If they did do the dirty, imagine the small talk! If they didn’t, imagine the simmering rage from the young pop-star and the doe-eyed chancer holding a baby, looking on and wondering if it would be okay to ask for an autograph.

Leving says:

“I want a new DNA test with both sides together at a lab in California as soon as possible… As soon as I tell her to do it, she’ll do it. We need proper protocol and a chain of custody.”

“For me to feel comfortable, I want a member of my legal team in the room when Justin Bieber’s genetic fluid is sampled”

Genetic fluid is potentially what got everyone into this mess in the first place. Leving added:

“This case is unique in terms of media interest, celebrity and the amount of potential child support at issue. There could be motives on the parts of many different people to corrupt the evidence”

It’s nowhere near as fun as Arnold Schwarzenegger’s secret lovechild story, is it?

Source: Hecklerspray Justin Bieber

Mariah Yeater Likes To Take Drugs Infront Of Kids Supposedly

Don’t recognise the name of the person in the article heading? Don’t worry, most people don’t either. It’s only when you mention that she’s the alleged bearer of Justin Bieber’s child that causes people’s ears to prick up.

In a strange way, we kinda like this paternity situation because Bieber went totally badass on her. He must have grown some balls or at last spouted a few pubes as he has promises to sue her for spreading these rumours.

Alas, the DNA test seems to be taking bloody ages to come back, which seems odd. We wouldn’t have thought that a few samples of a spit could take so long to analyse, especially given that Bieber is hardly old enough to have formed that much DNA. If they were British, they’d have the results fairly rapidly thanks to Jeremy Kyle. He can do them in 20 minutes, like developing Polaroids. Assuming that Bieber was able to maintain and use and erection, he will be thrilled to hear that his bundle of baby is allegedly living with a mother who takes drugs. Shock! Horror!

Some people claim – and it isn’t those who are close to Bieber – that he couldn’t possibly father a child. It doesn’t take a genius to work out that a seven year old couldn’t possibly produce anything other fluid other than urine from his penis. The suggestion that he fancies women is basically obscene. As far as he’s concerned, girls are “smelly” and “kisses carry diseases.”

But even if everything claimed by Mariah Yeater turned out to be true, we’d be amazed on a couple of fronts. Not because she wasn’t a psycho looking for a cheap payday, but because the hilarious circumstances involved in their sexy time were true. She was quoted as saying:

“Immediately, it was obvious that we were mutually attracted to one another, and we began to kiss. Shortly thereafter, Justin Bieber suggested that I go with him to a private place where we could be alone.”

“I agreed to go with him and on the walk to a private area, he told me he wanted to make love to me and this was going to be his first time.”

“We went inside and immediately his personality changed drastically. He began touching me and repeatedly said he wanted to f*** the s*** out of me. At the time I asked him to put a condom for protection, but he insisted that he did not want to.”

“In his own words, he said that because it was his first time he wanted to ‘feel everything.”

So when this whole messy situation is over, can’t we at least think of the innocent child involved? Being used as a pawn so his mother can make a pot of money is something that’ll probably haunt him in later life. Everyone who writes for hecklerspray was sired by negligent celebrity one-night stands. Why on Earth do you think we’re this bitter?

But according to reports, it doesn’t seem that Mariah Yeater is a perfect mother. Footage which hasn’t been released yet, meaning that THIS MIGHT NOT BE TRUE suggests that Yeater smoked pot infront of a toddler and said:

“We’re about to get high! Burning weed, burning weed.”

Of course we don’t know if she was smoking the green whilst growing a baby human inside of her, but friends of Yeater have told Star magazine in America that she:

“May have smoked marijuana once or twice while carrying Tristyn.”

You’d have to be stoned to pick a dreadful name like that. Anyway, fear not Mariah! In the UK you’ll probably end up being crowned mother of the year. After all Katie Price has bagged the prize despite whoring out her own family to make a career whilst Kerry Katona has won despite being a financial and drugged up mess.

There’s hope for us all it seems.

Source: Hecklerspray Justin Bieber

Justin Bieber to V Magazine: 'Everyone's Trying to Tug At Me and Take My Spot!'

Justin Bieber is losing it, or was he just moody? Justin covers V magazine and the publication has the headline "Pop's Crown Prince Turns 18," but the Biebs won't be legal until March 1st! Anyway, Justin explains that going to church doesn't make you religious.

"A lot of people who are religious, I think they get lost. They go to church just to go to church... I focus more on praying and talking to Him. I don't have to go to church." Does Justin even have the time to go to church anyway?

Moving on, Biebus also talked about his, uh, haters?!

"Now that I’m on top, everyone wants to bring me down. Everyone’s trying to tug at me and take my spot." Bieber continued: "Like Floyd Mayweather, he’s the best boxer in the world. Now he is a champion. Every time he goes to a fight now, people are like, ‘He’s going to lose this time.'"

Really dude?! Who the hell is trying to take Justin's spot? We haven't seen any lesbians who talk like wiggers on the charts yet. Maybe he's talking about Kreayshawn. Zing!

Source: Justin Bieber - Poponthepop.com

Justin Bieber asked to take DNA Test by Mariah Yeater’s Lawyers

Justin Bieber Zone – Justin Bieber has been asked to undergo a DNA test to determine if he is the father of Mariah Yeater’s baby son, who claims she had sex with him on October 25, 2010, reported contactmusic.com The 20-year-old woman claims her son Tristyn Anthony Markhouse Yeater, who was born on July 6, was conceived when she… Read more

Source: Justinbieberdigest.com

Lea Michele Obvious In Dirty Dancing Remake… Justin Bieber To Take Lead?

Remember us telling you the mindcrushing news that Dirty Dancing was about to be remade? Well, Glee’s Lea Michele is strongly rumoured to be lined up for the part of ‘Baby’, as made famous by Jennifer Grey.

She’s a pretty obvious choice when you think about it, what with her being incredibly wholesome, and thereby, able to portray the saccharine blossoming of sexuality with some berk with a haircut.

Of course, Michele is about to leave Glee because half the cast will have to graduate (don’t write off a Fame-esque spin-off yet though) so she’ll have the time to play the awfully named Frances ‘Baby’ Houseman. But who will play Patrick Swayze’s character, Johnny Castle?

Well, Derek Hough – you may remember him as being Cheryl Cole’s rock/lover/potentially gay chum – has been put forward to lift Michele out of some water.

However, Michele does have some stiff competition from limp quarters. Miley Cyrus and Selena Gomez are also being linked with the gig. We sincerely hope that it isn’t the latter because you just know her child groom, Justin Bieber, will be in with a shout of lead after he cluttered up the set of CSI Somethingorother.

The movie is set to thrill sexless men and women sometime in 2013, and of course, there’ll be a heap of casting rumours floating around ’til an official announcement is made.

Somewhere in LA, a casting couch is going to be very busy and need repeated dry-cleaning sessions before long.

Blecch.

Dirty bit.

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Source: Hecklerspray Justin Bieber