The Black Keys Slate Bieber And The Grammy Awards To Excite Their Largely White, Conservative Audience

Regressive, backward looking, music-isn’t-as-good-as-it-used-to-be rockers, The Black Keys, have decided to hit out against pop music and award-ceremonies in a move not believed to have been done by any conservative band in the history of white rock music.

They’ve got beards you know, so they definitely mean it. Man.

The group have blasted the Grammy Awards and acts such as Justin Bieber. This is damning news for everyone involved in both camps because, as you know, The Black Keys are incredibly, incredibly worthy and important.

In an interview with esteemed phone-fiddlers, The Sun, frontman Dan Auerbach said that the band appreciate their success more because they had to earn it.

He said:

“Stuff used to piss me off and I’d moan about it. Like ‘Why aren’t we up here on the bill? Why aren’t we playing a higher festival slot?”

“I don’t know. I’m glad it took us this long because we appreciate every opportunity that we’ve got. Every step up we feel better about it. I love our audience – that they are all so different. Old and new fans across the board. The shows have got bigger – but gradually, so it’s lessened the blow.”

Waaaa. You and every other stinkin’ band thinks that too.

Still, he wasn’t done. He wanted to talk about popular culture too, which of course, The Black Keys clearly don’t consider themselves a part of. They obviously prefer to peddle the usual ‘we’re just doing our own thing, with our traditional rock instruments and Rolling Stone-approved beards, like we’re outlaws or something‘ line that absolutely no-one has done before.

Speaking about the Grammy Awards, Auerbach said.

“There’s so much good music in the US and there is just a small section that gets recognized at the Grammys. I don’t have any patience and I can’t bullshit myself by sitting through a Justin Bieber song. I am not interested in that shit. I am an adult and really I don’t know who the fuck listens to Justin Bieber.”

Judging something without listening to it. That’s an interesting moral stance to take.

Still, if we’re dickswinging, Bieber is currently working with hip-hop’s current royalty (rather than the players of yesteryear, eh Blakroc?) and has millions of fans… made even more remarkable given his unsavoury views on rape victims being allowed to have abortions.

At least you get to play Jools Holland once a year, eh?

Source: Hecklerspray Justin Bieber