Justin Bieber: The Dog Is Not His, And The Baby? Well…

So. The big news about Justin Bieber is this: He’s putting a Christmas album out that is so bad that the holiday season is going to be cancelled (the terrorists have finally won). He’s also adopted a dog. He’s also sired a child with a woman who kinda raped him, legally speaking.

Okay? We’re up to speed? Good. Now, here’s the ‘facts’.

Justin Bieber was keen to talk about the big story swirling around him on Ryan Seacrest’s radio show. He’s basically saying ‘NO WAY! NOT A CHANCE! YOU THINK I’M READY FOR THAT KIND OF COMMITMENT? I HAVE NOT ADOPTED A DOG!‘ Right. The baby, baby, baby oooooh Justin. That’s what everyone’s talking about y’little puke!

Finally, Bieber has spoken about the allegations that he has illegitimately fathered a child with a 20-year-old fan. When he was 16. That’s the whole statutory rape thing we mentioned.

So what does El Biebo have to say? Of course, he went on twitter to clear things up once and for all!

“I’m going to ignore the rumours and focus on what is real. Judge me on the music!”

Judging him on the music is the only more damning thing he could’ve chosen outside of his unsavoury beliefs on abortion.

Meanwhile, being a little more assertive, Bieber’s publicist has called the allegation

“malicious”

That’s not stopped Belieber Mariah Yeater heading to the courtroom though. She definitely believes herself when she said:

“He suggested that I go with him to a private place where we could be alone. He told me he wanted to make love to me and this was going to be his first time.”

“After walking away from the other people backstage, Justin Bieber found a place where we could be alone – a bathroom.

He promptly went and ‘fucked the shit’ out of her without a condom because he wanted to ‘feel everything’. That’s according to Yeater’s suit. And lo, on 6th July 2011, she gave birth to a baby boy, which she says was

“exactly 36 weeks and two days after the sexual encounter.”

She’s now requesting that Bieber does a paternity test and thinks about paying child support. Yeater’s lawyers say that their client…

“…is pursuing a modest and rightful claim. There is credible evidence that Justin Bieber is in fact the father of her baby.”

Bieber is not denying the claim that Little Bieber went into Yeater’s ‘back stage area’ unprotected. Did you notice that? This goes against his whole ‘mom, I promise I’ll stay pure’ schtick that he’s been wheeling around, eh?

Only last February he said:

“I don’t think you should have sex with anyone unless you love them.”

So. Hands up if you can tell the difference between what you believed happened, and what you want to believe?

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So. The bi

Source: Hecklerspray Justin Bieber