Justin Bieber: "Sex, Drugs and Swearing Can Wait"

More excerpts from Justin Bieber's strange interview with V magazine were released today, revealing the Biebs' views on some pretty controversial topics. Well, controversial if you're 8.

"I don't want to start singing about things like sex, drugs and swearing," Justin said when asked about grown-up stuff. "I'm into love, and maybe I'll get more into making love when I'm older." Not sure what he means by "get more into making love," but I guess he's saying he's still holding his v-card. Justin, you're an 18 year-old dude; if you're not "into making love" now, you never will be.

Justin went on to say, "I'm not going to try to conform to what people want me to be or go out there and start partying, have people see me with alcohol. I want to do it at my own pace." Okay, so he still talks like he's 12, but I'm impressed that Justin admitted he may one day start drinking. Our little Biebus is growing up right before our eyes. 

(Photo: V)

Source: Justin Bieber - Poponthepop.com

Justin Bieber Talks Directly To God (Or, If You Prefer, To Himself)

Justin Bieber talks directly

Justin Bieber talks directly to God. Justin Bieber also thinks that “rape happens for a reason” as well. That invariably means we shouldn’t trust a vowel that dribbles out of that tiny week-old mouth of his. He’s Canadian too. They’re all like Americans without the whole ‘inventing rock ‘n’ roll’ thing. Anyway, Justin Bieber likes [...]

to God. Justin Bieber also thinks that “rape happens for a reason” as well. That invariably means we shouldn’t trust a vowel that dribbles out of that tiny week-old mouth of his.

He’s Canadian too. They’re all like Americans without the whole ‘inventing rock ‘n’ roll’ thing.

Anyway, Justin Bieber likes talking to the ether and pretending that God talks back to him. Presumably God advised that Bieber got a tattoo on his leg of Jesus. Sadly, God didn’t tell him to go to a decent tattoo parlour and JB is left with an image of what appears to be the lead singer of Nickelback on his calf.

Justin does indeed believe that there is a higher power guiding everyone’s lives, but he doesn’t go to church to affirm his faith.

Is that because he’s gigantically famous and can’t be bothered getting loads of hassle every Sunday morning? Some faith that is!

He told V magazine:

“A lot of people who are religious, I think they get lost. They go to church just to go to church. I’m not trying to disrespect them … but for me, I focus more on praying and talking to Him. I don’t have to go to church.”

Still, at least he’s getting tugged off.

He added:

“Now that I’m on top, everyone wants to bring me down … Everyone’s trying to tug at me and take my spot.”

There’s still no word on the claims that Mariah Yeater had his baby though, which is what we’re all especially interested in. Not because he’s ‘on top’ and we’d like to see him fail, rather, we’ll never ever forgive him for what he said about rape victims.

We haven’t even mentioned his gruesome music. At least he’s got his little imaginary friend in the sky to talk to.

Source: Hecklerspray Justin Bieber

Justin Bieber Takes a Bathroom Break, Upsets Eager Fan

Justin Bieber keeps dropping hints that being famous is mad annoying. The 17 year-old Canuck was approached by one of his many fans when he was on his way to the bathroom and therefore couldn't stop for a photo.

Justin Tweeted:

• funny how i meet people everyday. great people. smile. take pics. sign things and then some just like to tell rumors. #CantWinThemAll

• gotta just Kill em with Kindness. I know my responsibility. but sometimes i just gotta hurry up and take a piss though. lol

Biebus' fans got "mad" at him because he didn't stop for a Belieber. Justin's fans are all like 9 years old, right? Eventually they'll mature and learn how to give their wannabe future baby daddy some space.

Source: Justin Bieber - Poponthepop.com

Is Justin Bieber Harvesting The Organs Of Children?

There’s always been something incredibly sinister about Justin Bieber. Anyone who is paraded around like a prepubescent monkey eunuch should fill any right-minded person with the dread of a thousand bailiffs.

The very fact no-one seems to mind a performing menstrual period is of great concern, especially given that Bieber is clearly using his power for unspeakable evil.

Like what? Well, at the wave of his nailless foetal hand, it appears that the world’s young are donating their organs. Oooh, the horror!

Bieber is getting credit for a recent spike in organ donor registrations. Some dweebs called The Trillium Gift of Life Network have noted that, since JB answered a plea made by Helene Campbell, who’s awaiting for a lung transplant, more than 1,200 people have registered online for donation.

Bieber’s Twitter exchange with Campbell (username @alungstory) started off with the usual annoying charitable plea from a pleb to a sleb, before Justin took the sob story on and shared it with his trillion followers.

He then started tweeting about how people really should donate their organs.

However, no-one is that altruistic and we suspect that Bieber is using the organs for himself, after his young fans presumably donated them while they were still alive, cutting out their kidneys and such with Hello Kitty safety scissors and plopping them through his letter box.

And if our thoughts that Bieber is actually an illuminati goon are true, then we can only assume that he’s using the organs for nefarious purposes.

If indeed, Bieber is an illuminati lookalike, then there’s a chance that the singer is actually in his 40s and is gorging on tween organs in a bid to stay youthful. We have all noticed that he’s looking older than he used to and this fiendish scheme is clearly not working.

Spread the word. There’s a new devil among us.

There’s al

Source: Hecklerspray Justin Bieber

Justin Bieber Wants a Tough Guy Movie Role?!

Justin Bieber is hoping to transition from music into film and he's interested in playing a villain. Biebus wants to play Mark Wahlberg's character from the hit movie Fear.

Movieweb reports that Justin thinks that starring in the remake would strip him of his pretty boy image and help him to be seen as a serious adult actor. 

It is believed that Justin Bieber will pursue the rights to remaking Fear, using the film as his launching board into feature film acting.

Mark's character rapes a young woman played by Alyssa Milano, beheads a beloved family pet, carves tattoos into his chest, breaks the neck of a family friend and finger bangs Reese Witherspoon on a rollercoaster. As a female, if there's any kind of male that I think could be potentially dangerous at any point, it's a scrawny teenager whose entire body weighs less than my thighs. Someone make this happen!

Source: Justin Bieber - Poponthepop.com

Paris Jackson And Justin Bieber To Shag With Unswerving Predictability

When Michael Jackson was alive (he’s very much dead these days), he ended up getting married to Lisa Marie Presley. It was weird. The King Of Pop shacking up with The King Of Rock ‘n’ Roll’s daughter. Mixing pop royalty like that… it’s incestuous and odd.

And guess what is going to happen?

That’s right, with a little bit of history repeating itself, Michael’s daughter – Paris Jackson – is giving the sex-eye to pop midget, Justin Bieber. You can just imagine the people behind both of these veritable toddlers advising them about how good a relationship with each other would be for their careers. Blecch!

It appears that Paris is not able to resist the juggernaut charm of Bieber, after she introduced him at her father’s tribute show in Hollywood.

It is reported that she ‘nearly melted in the process’. Much like her father’s face then? Nice that someone should carry on the noble family tradition.

In her intro, Paris said:

“We are all very big fans of [Justin] and his music” — and then, with a coy smile, she added, “I know I am.”

Then, Justin appeared to thunderous screams (again, much like the screams Michael would be greeted by when he found himself dazed and drugged and wandering around a playground without his special Bad trousers on) and rattled through a version of ‘Rockin’ Robin’, which MJ covered back in ’72.

Sadly, now Bieber has covered the song, it has rendered it unlistenable forever more.

Either way, keep an eye out for a gut-wrenching break-up between Bieber and Selena Gomez as he cruelly tosses her aside for a more famous, more bizarre Jackson sprog.

Good news is, is that this could get very, very ugly indeed. She’s the one with a tea-towel on her head, right?

When Mic

Source: Hecklerspray Justin Bieber

Paris Jackson Meets Justin Bieber

Paris Jackson is a Belieber and she was able to meet her man at the Michael Jackson Hand and Footprint ceremony in Los Angeles. Justin Bieber was one of the celebrities on hand to pay tribute to her late father.

Paris told the crowd: "I want to introduce you all to a performer who also found stardom at a very young age, just like my Dad." She continued "My father would have been proud to mentor to someone like him and would be very proud that he came to today's celebration."

Paris said: "We are all very big fans of him, and his music, I know I am, so everyone please welcome Justin Bieber!"

Paris is so well spoken for her age! Bieber sang an acapella version of "Rockin' Robin" and Paris changed her Twitter photo to the picture we've posted above!

She Tweeted: "Had such an amazing time today. Creds to @JustinBieber who did a great job The fam really appreciates it

Biebus responded with: "@ParisJackson thanks for having me today and the things you said. your dad will always be my mentor. his career is all i study. #THEGREATEST"

Source: Justin Bieber - Poponthepop.com